


autumn sequences

by daisieswither (bluedreaming), daisyillusive (bluedreaming)



Category: Winner (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Autumn, Blood, Break Up, Developing Relationship, Established Relationship, Gunshot Wounds, M/M, Murder, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-06
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-12 01:34:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5648914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/daisieswither, https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedreaming/pseuds/daisyillusive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Autumn is when things change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. an act of will to remember

**Author's Note:**

  * For [elfscouts_mod (tr1ptych)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tr1ptych/gifts).



> **Warnings:** major character death, break up, blood, gunshot wound, murder, mention of smoking, allusion to drugs  
>  **Notes:** The title and chapter titles are from [Autumn Sequence](http://autumnsequences.tumblr.com/post/136705952636) by Adrienne Rich.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seokjin says goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** break up  
>  **Notes:** Listen to [Beyond the Black Rainbow](https://open.spotify.com/album/5xrI7yn0HPrGKFYODgMtES) while you read this.

 

Seokjin kicks the shoe aside; weaves around the mess of take out boxes on the coffee table. The room is mostly dark; the only light from the dull glow of the neon lamps outside the sweared glass of the window.

"Jinwoo?" he calls, but there's no answer. The room is cold, and he sighs, stepping over to the fire to stir up the coals. _Why do you insist on living in this place when the radiators don't even work anymore._ The last log catches on his finger, leaving a long sliver; he drops it onto the embers from too high and jumps back as sparks rain over his legs, sticking his hurt finger into his mouth.

"Jinwoo?"

His voice echoes around the space in the strange way that a flat so full of clutter can still feel so empty. Soekjin knows that Jinwoo is home; that's what Taehyun had said anyway, when he'd caught up to him in the pub. VINCUNT have to play tomorrow, so Jinwoo has to be home.

That doesn't mean he won't be drinking though. Seokjin kicks aside the empty bottles, watches a Grey Goose roll into a Beefeaters, the sound of glass hitting glass sharp as it cuts through the haze. There's a sound, further into the depths of the flat, and Seokjin adjusts his course, flicking on the switch and bathing the hallway in red.

 _I hate this hallway._ He doesn't let his fingertips graze the walls, painted a crimson so slick, so thick, that they always remind him of a horror movie.

There's the sound of a match, fire burning, a sigh as a window is pushes open. Seokjin stands out side the door, watches the play of the shadows in the light that shines out from beneath.

He remembers a different autumn; walking beneath the rich gold leaves of the magnolias, remembering spring. Jinwoo, humming a bar he'd just been strumming on the guitar.

"I'm writing a song for you," he'd said, shoulder brushing Seokjin's, and leaned over to press a soft open-mouthed kiss to his mouth.

Seokjin doesn't bother knocking. He opens the door, and sees Jinwoo, standing in the window, back bathed in the firelight. He doesn't turn around, just lets his head fall onto the weathered wood of the window sill, the frame so old it remembers years long before he was born and will still be here, long after he's gone.

"Goodbye," Seokjin says quietly. Jinwoo doesn't turn around, doesn't say anything. His guitar is still in the case, dumped on the floor by the door. The case is scratched.

Seokjin takes the envelope out of his pocket, small and white, inconsequential, and sets it neatly on the case he'd bought for Jinwoo, mere months ago, and eternity ago.

He wonders if Jinwoo will miss him.

He wonders if he'll miss Jinwoo.

He's turning to walk back down the hallway, hand reaching out to shut the door behind him, when Jinwoo speaks.

"Jin. . ." he starts, and his voice sounds wet, cracked.

Seokjin waits, but Jinwoo never finishes the sentence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by WINNER's [EXIT MOVEMENT](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4O1lUUZ-78) teaser film.


	2. a last euphoria

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon never saw it coming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** blood, gunshot, murder, major character death

 

The sun is shining. The sky is blue, only fluffy blue clouds drifting in the sky, as Namjoon drives down the street, drinking in the gold of autumn, the trees that don't really change colour here, except the occasional deciduous that a particularly diligent neighbour has landscaped into their front yard and waters on a fly, illegal in a city with a constant water shortage, but they don't care.

Namjoon just watches the green lawns drift by and doesn't think about what the other side of town looks like. Things are good here, now, a nice house, a nice car, a boyfriend who's on the crazy side but always keeps him on his toes. He wonders what Taehyung is up to—

"Do you have to go?" Taehyung had said over breakfast, perched on the counter with his bowl of cheerios and milk, as Namjoon sat at the kitchen counter, twirling slowly back and forth on the chrome bar stool, red leader and shiny metal.

"You want to go?" Namjoon had retorted, taking a gulp of coffee and laughing at Taehyung's disgusted expression.

"Fuck no," he'd said, taking such a big spoonful of cheerios that the milk splashed over the side of the spoon and splashed into the milk in his bow. "Those old guys are so boring." Namjoon had to agree, but the board of directors was the board of directors.

"I'll be back in the afternoon," he'd said instead, and Taehyung had sighed and nodded, his eyes already drifting off somewhere else, probably plotting the next patent he was planning on filing. Namjoon didn't know how he did it, but that was Taehyung: wild, brilliant, and completely unpredictable.

He grabbed his bag, dumping his bowl in the dishwasher and giving Taehyung a kiss on the cheek and he headed out the door. Taehyung hummed, and stirred his milk.

Pulling onto the driveway, Namjoon smiles at the small box he has tucked into his bag, picturing Taehyung's face when he opens it and finds the pre-release [cubit](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1762626887/cubit-the-make-anything-platform%22) he's been itching to get his hands on, if only to complain about how he could have made it better.

Namjoon doesn't care, he just wants to see the smile on Taehyung's face.

It's after stepping out of the car, the door slamming behind him with a familiar thud as he walks up the paving stone path to the side door that Namjoon realizes something is wrong.

The side door is closed, but hanging loosely on half-broken hinges, the lock kicked in, and Namjoon can't breathe as he barges through the door and almost trips over the chaos of the living room, all the furniture thrown willy-nilly, split wood and shattered glass and the strange void of sound that comes from a phone lying off the hook, the line cut.

He doesn't realize he's shouting for Taehyung until he coughs, throat raw, staring at the backyard through what used to be the glass door onto the patio and are now a metal frame bordered by jagged class teeth.

It smells like honey. It smells like summer, barely lost to autumn. It smells like something sweet and thick and sticky with rust, spilling over his fingers as he presses his hand over the bullet hole in Taehyung's chest, but it's too late, it's too late, the honey spilled over on the table and the bees swarming.

Namjoon's face is wet. He doesn't notice.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Rap Monster's [P.D.D.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WFArWe1MLW8) with Warren G.


	3. cranberry dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Black crows swoop and rise over the cornfield, looking for forgotten ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** mention of character death

 

Hoseok sighs as he slips his phone back into his pocket, running his hand through his hair. Yoongi looks at him for a moment, as they keep walking through the cornfields, fall husks crunching beneath their feet. Crows fly overhead, swooping in search of forgotten ears of corn, but everything is already gone. Yoongi walks through a puddle in his boots and listens to the sound of water on rubber, the sound of the wind rustling through the dead corn.

Autumn is a strange season.

"You okay?" he asks, as Hoseok steps up beside him, the backs of their hands brushing, just a bit, just a warning that Hoseok needs some kind of reassurance or he'll end up draping himself all over Yoongi, who doesn't fancy being toppled over into the mud. He reaches for Hoseok's hand instead, weaving their fingers between each other, and Hoseok exhales.

"Seokjin is coming back," he says quietly, and Yoongi understands what Seokjin isn't saying, the fact that Seokjin returning home means that he's broken up with boyfriend. He and Seokjin have never been close; Seokjin has always been more of Hoseok's friend, but the few brief times they've met, Seokjin had been nice enough. His boyfriend, on the other hand, had seemed strangely fragile, in a sharp way that reminded Yoongi of himself, except completely different.

"Does he have a place to stay?" Yoongi asks, instead of the questions that Hoseok would probably ask if the situation was reversed, but Yoongi doesn't need to know, not right now, and maybe never. Beneath his fingertips, he can feel Hoseok's pulse; the other fingertips brushing against the cornstalks catch on the still soft hairs of a forgotten ear of corn.

"I was wondering—do you think—?" Hoseok doesn't usually fumble with his words, and Yoongi wonders how Seokjin really is, or if Hoseok is more upset than his friend.

"Yeah, sure he can stay with us," Yoongi says, swinging their hands together as he glances back up at the sky. The black crows are still circling; maybe they've spotted a target.

"You remember Namjoon?" he says quietly, and Hoseok nods. The sun is setting, sinking low and golden to hang between the stalks of corn; Yoongi shades his eyes with his hand. "He's coming back home too."

Hoseok stops, heels sinking into the dirt. "Namjoon broke up with Taehyung?" He sounds so shocked, like the idea is inconceivable.

_The idea is inconceivable _, Yoongi thinks. He shakes his head, pulling Hoseok along.__

"Then Taehyung's coming too?" Hoseok asks, and there's a smile flickering across his face; he likes Taehyung and all his wild craziness, the few times they've met.

Yoongi feels bad, though he doesn't have anything to feel bad about. Just a few steps away, they'll reach the crest of the hill, and he doesn't want to say it there.

"Taehyung died last week," Yoongi says quietly, his voice only a layer of sound amidst the cornstalks swaying, dry leaves brushing against them as they keep walking. "Namjoon is coming back after the investigation."

He can hear Hoseok's quick intake of breath, and squeezes his fingers as they step out of the cornfield and onto the hill overlooking the water; just a duck pond, and yet the swampy vastness feels oceanic as the sun drops, red, into the water.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by SUGA's [싸이하누월 MIX Final INST](https://soundcloud.com/bangtan/suga-mix-final-inst).


	4. there must be a place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the quiet, Seokjin finds answers in a stranger's coat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** brief mention of character death, mention of smoking, allusions to drugs

 

Seokjin rubs his eyes, staring out at the dark, the flickering city lights stretching below. Here on the roof it's quiet, and he can forget the buzz of the party, the humming of too many voices. It all reminds him too much of the after parties, after the show, the adrenaline of the concert, kissing JInwoo behind the stage when he wasn't even sure if Jinwoo was kissing him or just high off the show and desperate to kiss anybody.

It wasn't a good feeling, and even though it's over it leaves him feeling empty and yet restless, as he rubs his fingers together and suddenly wishes he had a cigarette, even though he hasn't smoked in years.

They didn't smoke cigarettes after the show.

He leans over the waist-high wall bordering the roof of the building instead, and breathes. At least he can pick out a few stars through the haze of the night sky in the city. He wonders where Hoseok is, where Yoongi is, and whether it would be okay for him to head back to their house without him.

There's a sound then, the heavy metal door leading to the roof creaking open, but Seokjin doesn't bother to look behind him. Soft footfalls step across the concrete, skirting the puddles from the afternoon rain. It doesn't seem like autumn up here, where there are no trees to lose their leaves, remind him that winter is coming.

"Hi," a voice says, and Seokjin turns his head to look back. It's not Hoseok, or Yoongi, or even his cousin, Taehyung, come to look for him and make sure he's okay and hasn't gone up to the rooftop to puke or jump of, neither of which are on any of Seokjin's plans. Instead, he sees— _Yoongi's friend?_ He can't quite remember his name.

"Hi," Seokjin replies, turning to lean his elbows on the wall. The man has white hair, but he's not old. Seokjin wonders how he can ask his name without revealing the fact that he's forgotten,but the man saves him the etiquette headache by extending his right hand. Seokjin meets it with his own, and they shake hands, a strangely formal gesture for a city rooftop in autumn.

"I'm Namjoon," the man, Namjoon, says, and Seokjin nods.

"Seokjin," he offers, as Namjoon releases his fingers which slip back to his side. Namjoon steps up beside him, looking over the city, and Seokjin turns back as well, their elbows brushing. Namjoon is wearing a long black coat; Seokjin shivers in his thin sweater.

Suddenly there's warm fabric being draped over his shoulders; he looks back from the expanse of city lights to see Namjoon looking at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Seokjin realizes that the fabric snuggled around his shoulders is Namjoon's coat and he opens his mouth to protest, but Namjoon stops him.

"I used to have someone," he says, "who never wore the right coat for the weather." His voice is quiet, and Seokjin thinks back to what Hoseok had told him, about Namjoon's deceased boyfriend.

"It's nice to have someone," Seokjin says, and Namjoon nods, just a single dip of the head.

Together they watch the flickering lights in silence, shoulders barely touching.

 

_ fin. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by Jin's cover of MATE's [난 너를 사랑해](https://soundcloud.com/bangtan/cover-by-jin-of-bts).

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to L for the Latin help.


End file.
